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Posted by: AegisReflector Dec 28 2009, 02:48 PM

It is night out, in a city filled with business, industry, and gang shootings. Indeed, in this fabulous city, we see 4 fools heading out to cause wicked baaaaaad trouble. One is a British chap, all suited up and no place to go. The second one is a hooded man, who was kicked out of many baaadddd clubs for disturbance and violence, such as the club that holds all of the Fire Emblem contests. The third one is a girl of wonder, the horndog's wet-dream, yet she was in Aegis Asylum for 4 years and just got out last week. And finally, the fourth dude. A gelatinous waste of space. He will someday rain down the End of Days, but for now, he just plays Risk all day as practice. These fools are headed out to the town's movie theater, where they will hash out their "evil" plans to take over the city. Bewarned, my fellow readers, that this 4 fools are bad seeds, and you hunt you down if you foil their plans. This story is about those fools, with a hint of bravery, justice, and yuri. So now, we enter the story....


AT THE MOVIE THEATER LINE...

"No, no, you bloody idiot! I want to see "Hairspray"!
"Too bad, dingus! As future conqueror, I call the shots! We're gonna see "Hannah Montana"!
"Fat chance, you fat tub of gelatin! As the only female species around here, you follow under my orders! We're seeing "The Nightmare Before Christmas"!"
"Haha, yeah, right. And how will YOU control us?"
*lifts up shirt*
"That's it, gentlemen. "Nightmare Before Christmas" it is!"

The fools finally decided on a movie, which only took them 4 hours. When they approached the ticket counter, they had found out that the movie was sold out. "Aw, bloody hell. Looks like we can't see it, aie old chaps? Well, just gotta see "Hairspray!" The British chap was named Crush, after his father. "Well, that's ok. "Nightmare" was sooooo 3 seconds ago." said the girl. The girl was named Vaatilicious and, well stated before, has a beautiful appearance, but a psychotic personality. "We shall then see "Avatar!" "Hold it, tuts." said the tub of gelatin. The gelatin was named Lord Jello, who came from another planet in search of destroying it and moving on to the next one. Little did he know that humans already have weapons of mass destruction to destroy our own planet, so he got pretty pissed at that. "We are gonna see "Hannah Montana". I just got to fap at that wonderful earthling." "If we go into Hannah Montana, we'll look like a couple of queers." said the hooded man. His name was Jewa, a Jewish fellow who only comes out at night. He has the power to shape-shift into a hot babe, but he claims that it is a useless power, coming out saying, "I am a GUY!" "Well, you're technically already a queer." said Lord Jello. Jewa punched him in the mangos floating inside him. "OWWW! *bad word*!" yelled Lord Jello. "That's my most sensitive spot!" "GOOD GOD, CHAPS. LET'S JUST SEE "PONYO"." The 3 fools looked at Crush. "It's anime." he said. "Anime is soothing for the soul." "Works for me." said Jewa. "I loooovvvvvvveeeeee anime." replied Vaatilicious. "Ahhhhhhh, my mangos." squealed Lord Jello.

They got tickets to see "Ponyo", and waited in line to go into the theater.
"Say, my Lord." Crush tucked Lord Jello
"What is it?" replied Lord Jello.
"Does these pants make me butt look a tad size ova?"
"Gee, I dunno. Turn around."
Crush turned around.
"Good lord!" said Lord Jello.
"They're huge, aren't they?"
"No, no, they are...just right!"
"What do you mean?" asked Crush.
Lord Jello kept staring at Crush's behind.
"My Lord?" asked Crush.
Meanwhile, Jewa and Vaatilicious had a conversation of their own.
"Vaati, for the last time, I don't want to buy your damn art!"
"Aw, stop being such a jerk. I need the money to pay for my psychiatric bills!"
"Get them some other way! I already spent some money on yuri pics."
"Ugh. I'll ask Crush. Maybe he has some dough."
Vaatilicous turned around to see Lord Jello staring at Crush's behind.
"Vaati! He's acting weird! He won't stop staring!" complained Crush.
Vaati looked at Lord Jello, then at Crush's pants. Her eyes locked.
"Guys....GUYS?"
Meanwhile, Jewa found some gum on the floor. "Alright! I can sell this on eBay. I can tell them it was Britney Spear's gum and i'll get a fortune out of it!"
Jewa tried with all of his might to get the gum out of the floor. With one final push, he did it, but in the process, hit Vaati.
Vaati toppled over, and accidentally nudged Lord Jello.
Lord Jello went into Crush's pants.
"AAAAAHHHHHHH. GET HIM OUT OF ME CHEEKS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"
Crush ran around screaming, trying to get Lord Jello out of him. Meanwhile, Lord Jello was trying to push his way out. Instead, he went into Crush's digestive system. Long story short, Crush's bladder exploded. Crush died. Lord Jello came out of him.
"DUDE!" shouted Jewa. "You killed Crush!"
"ME?" yelled Lord Jello. "Vaati pushed me into his crack!"
"But it was Jewa who pushed me!" Vaati defended.
They started to argue, but then Jewa rose up.
"Look, let's all just shut up, and hide the body."
"But where can we possibly hide it?" asked Vaatilicous.
"We'll hide it in the bathroom, duh." Jewa explained. "Nobody goes into public restrooms anymore."
"Sounds good to me." Lord Jello said.
Jewa sneaked into the theater, put the body into the empty bathroom, then went outside back to the line.
"Well, we lost a bro tonight." Jewa said.
"What a shame." mourned Lord Jello.
"His British accent made me horny." whimpered Vaatilicous.
With the death of a dear friend, the fools pressed on their journey, or rather stood still in the line, to see "Ponyo" at the movies.

END OF ACT I

Posted by: Streex Dec 29 2009, 03:38 AM

You sure can write a funny story. I love how you included multiple forum members.

Posted by: AegisReflector Dec 29 2009, 12:45 PM

EDITED FOR LULZ

Posted by: Twilight Sage Mar 3 2010, 01:11 PM

So......What happened to act 2? Tonight? 2-3 months ago?

Here's the thing, Aegis. Get to writing more on this. I'm actually liking this a lot. K?

Posted by: Streex Mar 3 2010, 11:27 PM

*slamming fists on desk in rhythm*

WE WANT ACT 2!.... WE WANT ACT 2!.... WE WANT ACT 2!

Posted by: AegisReflector Mar 4 2010, 07:49 PM

The thing is, this was only supposed to be a one-act deal, but since people have been betching at me to have a second act, I might as well get to work on another.

It might not be for a while though, as I'm currently working on SFNB and Tales of FN.

Posted by: Streex Mar 7 2010, 02:49 AM

QUOTE (AegisReflector @ Dec 29 2009, 12:45 PM)

Posted by: TheSpy Mar 13 2010, 09:36 AM

i haz lolz. can't wait for act 2.

Posted by: Jello Mar 15 2010, 06:39 PM

*waits for act two*